It’s definitely not that I don’t think I’ll make it to the end. I walk this much every single day in the morning before work. I had planned on at least jogging a little during the event, but I’m not sure if that will happen or not, my feet have been pretty sore lately.
I’m more nervous about the perception. It’s stupid, but it’s there.
Here’s a little bit of what happened yesterday for you to get an idea of what I’m talking about. In order to get in the race, you need to pick up a packet, which is basically a bit of swag and your number. I got a T-Shirt, a headband, a wristband, a packet of (pink) color powder, and my running number. (Pictured below.)
I went to pick up my packet at a place called RoadRunner. I had not heard of this place previously, but it’s a pretty large running/walking specialty store. When I got there I immediately felt out of place. Everyone there was skinny, in shape. The person who gave me my number asked me if I was picking it up for me or for someone else. I hadn’t heard her ask the previous person that, or the person after me. Also, when I went to pick up my T-Shirt, the highest size they had was 1x. Yes, I realize it’s a ‘race’ and most people who are 2x aren’t going to run in it, but it’s also billed as a run that anyone can do, runners, walkers, even people with strollers. Right or wrong, in my head, they were judging me for being a fat guy. I know I’ve lost 37 pounds in the last few months, but they don’t. They only see a fat guy.
Whether they were thinking them or not is pretty irrelevant to me irrationally mindscrewing myself. It’s something I really really have to try to get over, especially as I become skinnier and skinnier. I am one of the few fat guys who knows what it’s like to be on both sides, and I KNOW I’m treated differently by many people as a fat guy than I was as a skinny guy, so the perception in my head is hard to fight. Anyway, enough about my psychological problems.
I have my swag, and I’m ready to go. Like I said, I won’t be jogging much if at all, but I’m going to walk as quickly as I can and continue down my weight-loss road.
If you are someone like me, who has failed at weight loss in the past, I highly recommend doing things like this to keep yourself motivated. Look in your area, find a 5k that’s a few months out, sign up. Don’t look back. If you’ve paid the money, you have to go right? Even if your mind plays tricks on you and you feel like I described above, do what I do, use it as motivation.
If you can set goals like this that are out a few months, it’s much much easier to not fail. It’s easier to keep it up because you KNOW you have that event coming up in the future.
My next one is the Air Force 5k in September.
I’ll do a post ‘race’ recap, hopefully with some sweet pictures of this fat guy covered in colored powder.